Sex, Drugs & Finding your soul

Oct 02, 2022
⚠️ TW ⚠️
 
It’s funny the ghosts from the past you can find when packing up to move forward and leave it all behind
 
Last night as I was packing boxes, memories of the past & the girl I used to be rose to the surface.
 
The wounded wild woman that exploited her power & herself
 
I mourned her for all the times and ways I used her as a protection & defence mechanism from others, or the fastest escape route from my soul.
 
I mourned the dependency to substances, the meaningless sex and abuse of power.
 
I mourned the lies, deception, betrayal and the pushed down and repressed emotions.
 
I mourned her for all the ways I rejected her when I returned to spirituality and the guilt and shame I denied.
 
I forgave myself for denying her and for everything that transpired.
 
I forgave her and myself. I thought I had done this years ago, however last night I felt a huge release. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I could feel the forgiveness deep in my heart & soul and it created a shock wave through out my entire being.
 
That’s the thing about healing, it comes in intricate layers, you can think you are done and then you are shown more
 
A part of me was freed last night that I did not even know was caged.
 
For all of you I wish the same. May you be free from all hurt & pain known or unknown with ease & grace 💗
 
Love you,
X♡︎
Terra

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